4 Lessons I Learned During The Most Transformative Year of My Life

Exactly one year ago, today, it was the eve of my 21st birthday. I can remember it so vividly. My boyfriend and I were staying in a boujee hotel to celebrate, sipping on wine and watching Finding Dory. After he had fallen asleep, I decided I wanted to continue the party for myself. Even though we had finished a bottle of wine and a bottle of champagne, my alcoholic brain wasn't convinced that was enough. I grabbed a small bottle of Grey Goose Vodka from the hotel's mini bar, and downed it in the bathroom. I must of had a couple more, because I woke up on the floor and still slightly drunk the next morning-the morning of my 21st birthday.

What a great start to the day, huh? The rest of my birthday was a blur that I can only remember bits and pieces of. Long story short, I couldn't remember much about the day that I had been looking forward to for months and months. Now where's the fun in that?

I tell this story to show the contrast between the start of my 22nd year of life, and the end of it. I am almost 6 months sober now, and wow, what a year it has been. These past 12 months have been a year of struggle, loneliness, and defeat. It began with the internal battle of knowing that I should stop drinking, but not knowing how or who to turn to. It was a year of breaking promises with myself and a year of lying and shame.

But above all that, it's been a year of transformation, happiness, and triumph. A year of gaining confidence. A year of making decisions completely for myself for the first time in my life. I've grown so much this year and I'm so thankful for everyone who have helped me on this journey. I wanted to share a few major lessons I've learned along the way.

1. There is no better time than the present.

If I had waited around for the "right time" to get sober, I would still be drinking today and destroying my health, my mind, and my relationships. Getting sober in college is the hardest thing I've ever done, but it made me stronger. I am the happiest version of myself TODAY because of it.

I encourage you to figure out what the demons are in your life that are keeping you from being productive or happy, and then eliminate them. It may not seem like a "convenient" time, but if you wait for the "right time", you'll be waiting for the rest of your life.

Follow through with that thing you've always wanted to do. Tell that person how you really feel about them. Think about where your life could be in a year if you didn't put it off any longer. There is no better time than NOW.

2. It's okay to do what's best for YOU sometimes.

I have always been a people pleaser, never wanting to let anyone down. My specialty is saying "yes" to everything, even if I didn't have the time or desire to do it.

This year, I learned how to say "no". I turned down invitations, drinks, and favors. I needed to learn to be so confident in my decision not to drink, because everywhere I went I was reminded that I didn't.

It's okay to make decisions for yourself sometimes, even if these decisions don't make sense to other people. You don't owe anyone an explanation. Be confident in your choices and see where it takes you.

3. You are not alone.

When I was first trying to cut back on my drinking, I remember frantically googling things like, "getting sober at 21?!", desperately looking for someone my age to relate to. I joined a drop-in therapy group for students with unhealthy substance use, but for all 8 weeks that I went, I was the only student who showed up. I felt alone and like no one understood what I was going through.

After starting this blog, I had so many people reach out saying that they were going through similar issues. Fast forward one year, and I have found such an amazing and supportive sober community. I was never alone in my struggles, I just wasn't looking in the right places.

Whatever you are going through, I promise that someone else has been through it before as well. I don't say this to diminish how you're feeling, because all feelings are valid. I just want you to know that there is support out there waiting for you to find it.

4. Everything happens for a reason.

Cliché, I know, but this year has made me a firm believer in this mantra. I believe that I needed to go through my substance abuse issues in order to come out on the other side and share my story. Everything is a learning opportunity. No matter how bad things may seem, I encourage you to look for the good in every day.

It's amazing how much can change in just one year! Sobriety has truly made me excited for the future and all that life has to offer. I look forward to seeing what this next year brings! I don't know about you, but I'm feeling 22 ;)