10 Things That Help Me Stay Sober (in College)
With my college career coming to an end in just a couple short months, I've been doing some reflecting. One of the main questions I get asked is, "Steph, how tf do you stay sober in college?" If you've been following my blog for a while, you'd know that I got sober when I was a junior in college, just 6 months after turning 21. I was successfully able to stay sober for the rest of my junior year and now for the entirety of my senior year so far. I wanted to take some time today to reflect and share with you how I did it.
For the longest time, I pushed off getting help for my drinking problem because I didn't think it was "the right time". I told myself I would wait until after college to get sober when drinking wouldn't be as prevalent in my life. Well, I hate to break it to you, but the drinking does not end when college ends. I was finally able to quit drinking when I realized there would never be a "right time". The right time is now.
It hasn't been easy to stay sober while living in a college town surrounded by binge-drinking, but I've been doing it and I'm here to tell you how. Read on for 10 things that help me stay sober in college…
1. Books (aka 'Quit Lit')
'Quit Lit' stands for "quitting literature" and includes any book about how to quit or be more mindful with your drinking. I had already made the decision get sober when I picked up my first 'quit lit' book, but I was feeling pretty iffy about it. But oh man, after reading This Naked Mind by Annie Grace, I never wanted to touch another drop of alcohol again. Quit Lit books are amazing for jumpstarting your alcohol-free journey and teaching you about the dangers of alcohol. I like to read and re-read them when intrusive thoughts of, "Maybe I can have just one drink", start creeping back in. These books helps me stay motivated and remind me that I'm doing the right things. See my resources page for a big ol' list of Quit Lit books.
2. Sugar
Did you know that cutting alcohol out of your diet can cause you to crave sugar? There are scientific reasons behind this, but I won't pretend like I know them well enough to explain them to you. I'll leave that to the professionals and your own research. All I know is that my sweet tooth has never been stronger since I got sober.
I used to try and fight these cravings, convinced that sugar was worse for me than alcohol. How silly is that? My mindset changed when I realized that I am doing a hard thing by quitting drinking and I deserve to eat as much sugar as I damn well please (and you do too). Dessert has become my replacement for a drink, and I don't see anything wrong with that.
3. Alcohol-free drinks
I was never really a cocktail person when I was drinking unless I was going to happy hour or out to eat. I typically preferred to get drunk in the quickest way possible, which usually meant chugging vodka straight from the bottle. HOWEVER, sipping on mocktails and other alcohol-free beverages has been a life-saver for me in my sobriety. When I'm at a dayger, a house-party, or a bar, it's very helpful to have something to sip on (read my post on how to not hate your first sober event here.) Holding an AF drink gives you something to do with your hands (which helps you feel less awkward) AND people usually don't even notice that what your drinking isn't alcoholic (so they'll stop asking if you want a drink every 5 seconds). There are TONS of delicious mocktail recipes out there so get searching and happy sipping!
*warning: mocktails may be triggering for some so please drink at your own risk*
4. Making sober friends
"I never knew I needed sober friends until I got sober friends." Quitting drinking at any age is tough, but quitting drinking in college is a whole different beast. Seeking out like-minded people my age has been a game changer for me. It may seem like everyone in college drinks, but I promise you that there are some people who don't. Obviously, the pandemic has prevented me from meeting many people in person, but I have made some amazing friends through online support groups and meetings.
I met my first sober friends through Club RPG. I also host my own free, virtual meetings for sober or sober-curious "college-aged" people (you can sign up here). Whatever platform you choose to meet people, I promise that finding sober friends and accountability buddies will help you so much. I enjoy going to weekly meetings because they keep me accountable and give me something to look forward to. I have made connections with people through these online meetings that I will cherish for a lifetime.
5. Walking & movement
Alcohol triggers the production of endorphins, or the "feel good" chemicals that make you feel happy. When I quit drinking, it was important that I found new ways to get those same endorphins. This is why exercise has been such an important part of my sobriety journey. There's nothing quite like the endorphins you get after finishing a good workout. Find something you like to do whether that's walking, yoga, strength training, or stretching and do it when you want that extra boost!
I also like to use exercise as a tool to help me get through alcohol cravings. I can't even tell you the amount of times that going on a long walk has cured my craving for a drink.
6. Journaling
Journaling is MY FAVORITE RELEASE! I'm not sure what I did before I started journaling, but I will never live without it again. Whenever I'm feeling angry, sad, annoyed, or overjoyed, I write about it in my journal. Releasing my emotions and thoughts from my head and onto the paper in my journal is very cathartic. Click here to learn about my full journaling routine.
7. Therapy
I currently am in between finding therapists, so I have actually not been to therapy in quite a while. BUT I wanted to include it within this list because it was a huge part of my journey initially. Getting professional help for your drinking problem is nothing to be ashamed of. Talking with a professional can help you work through your thoughts and feelings and give you tactical tips for changing your drinking behavior.
If you believe you need professional help for your drinking, there are places you can go and resources you can use. Most college campuses offer free therapy and counseling resources for students (that's where I started out). Please don't hesitate to reach out for help.
8. A passion project & hobbies
It's no secret that my passion project is my blog, my Instagram page, and my YouTube channel. I have made it my mission to help others like me because I never want anyone to feel alone (like I did for so long). Plus, working on my blog was helpful in the beginning of my sobriety journey because it distracted me from the fact that I wasn't drinking. I'm not saying you should start a blog or a YouTube channel to help you with your sobriety, but having some sort of hobby and working towards a goal is very important when you quit drinking.
9. The Reframe App
The Reframe App is a tool that I just recently discovered. I love using it to track my days, curb my cravings, and educate myself. I'll leave their Instagram here. You can use my code STEPH14 for a 14-day free trial!
10. Making big deals out of little moments
When I was drinking, I found it difficult to get excited about anything that didn't involve alcohol. I was convinced that every activity could be made "more fun" if we added alcohol to the mix. When I quit drinking, it was hard for me to realize that I really didn’t have any other hobbies. I thought that life would be boring and dull now that I didn't have alcohol to make it exciting.
Nowadays, I’ve found it’s important to make big deals out of what used to be seemingly minuscule things to keep life interesting. I love to go out to eat, watch the sunset with friends, and find times to dress up just because. The Sober Lush is an amazing book on this topic!
That's all the tips I have for you all today! Thank you so much for reading. If you'd like to learn more about how I quit drinking, check out this YouTube video. xx