Why Doing College Sober Kicks Ass.
Hi!
I’m Nicole, 24, and I run an Insta account/blog called Sober Chit Chat! I’ll be two years sober this coming March, *whoop whoop.* I got sober in my last year of college. I spent five years at the University of Wisconsin - La Crosse. La Crosse is famously known as one of the drunkest places in the United States.
So, it’s no shocker that I fit right in - for a while at least. My drinking started to take over my life, relationships, and mental health. I tried for two years to moderate and failed each time. Finally, on March 30th, 2019 I got my shit together for real - and I can tell you I’ve never been happier.
On this lovely Monday, I wanted to share with you a note in my phone that spiraled into a blog post. One night at 2:34 am, I was thinking of the reasons my sober college experience was way more enjoyable than the drunk experience. This is what I came up with, and have expanded on specifically for you! Steph and I both try to encourage college aged girls to listen to their gut when considering their relationship with alcohol. If it just feels wrong, it probably is!
1. My darkest hour isn't so dark.
Of course, in sobriety I still have dark moments. The difference now is that dark moments don’t feel so heavy, and they don’t feel like so much of my own fault. Because I have various forms of mental illness, I know that when I’m feeling down it’s generally not a result of my own doing. It’s not a result of me blacking out or sleeping with strangers. It’s just my brain doing it’s very best to function at the moment.
Before, my dark moments were filled with self-hate and shame. Ya’ll, those are seriously heavy feelings to hold for more than a few minutes - especially for days.
As students, we’re already questioning our place in this world. What’s my career going to look like? Do I need an internship? Where will I live? With so many questions swirling for us, it’s hard to answer them when you’re weighed down by shame. We can’t make confident choices while hiding under the covers with guilt - I know from experience.
Sobriety has made my darkest hour a little less dark. Even when things are looking down, my sobriety gives me hope because I know I worked hard for it. If I can do this, I can truly do anything. And when things are looking up, I know I can push myself a little harder because I’m capable of a whole lot.
2. My friends are actually company now.
I love my damn friends. And being sober enough to actually enjoy their company is a blessing. Everytime I socialized while I was drinking, I’d usually be thinking about how I could grab more booze without anyone noticing. My best friend would try to tell me about the cute guy across the room, and I’d be thinking about how I could sneak that not-taken shot into my drink.
I have a clear mind, and an open heart to absorb whatever it is they have to say. And it turns out, I really missed a lot. Sobriety allowed me to see how incredible the people around me are - and how not so incredible others were.
I don’t surround myself with anyone who doesn’t fully respect my energy. This is a good vibes only zone here - because I’m conscious enough to ensure it.
3. Class with a clear mind.
The point of college is to actually learn something, right?! Whether it comes from a textbook, wisdom from a professor, or an exchange with another student, the point of paying for an education is to learn.
Looking back, it doesn’t feel like I learned much of anything before I got sober. I was in a major I didn’t care about - just trying to get by with a C. After I put down drinking, I switched majors and completely invested into my future. I learned SO much more in my one year than I ever did in the four I spent drinking.
There’s something very empowering about showing up to class well-rested, showered, and with real, color-coded, prepared notes. Don’t just take my word for it though - try it.
4. I stopped faking my life.
Getting sober made everything suddenly feel very REAL. I didn’t feel like I could just “pass through” life anymore. Hangovers and drinking anxiety set me back much farther than I'd realized.
For me, drinking involved a lot of fake happiness. I was never actually happy at a house party. Not in the way I am now in my bed on a hangover-free Saturday watching Gossip Girl. I used to feel like I had to have this fake smile on at the bars all the time. Now, if I’m not happy then I’m not at the bar - there’s nothing to fake.
I’m no longer participating in events just because booze is involved. I’m only participating in events because they bring positive energy into my life. And yes, that means I go to fewer events.
I used to feel like I had to have this fake smile on at the bars all the time. Now, if I’m not happy then I’m not at the bar - there’s nothing to fake.
5. Getting to know professors who gave me confidence.
I feel like I’ve told so many students this, but get to know your frickin’ professors! I promise you it makes a world of a difference.
I remember, sophomore year, I had to meet with my advisor one morning after a bender. My friends and I were absolutely hammered watching a Chicago Blackhawks game, and someone knocked on the door to hold us up at gunpoint. *Insane, I know.* But they basically robbed us and left us with nothing but our booze. So after our chat with the police, we just kept drinking! *Not smart or healthy, I know.*
None of us had our phones - which meant we couldn't set our alarms. Can you just imagine what I looked like rolling up to her office still in my clothes from the night before, smelling like booze, and having no phone, backpack, or notes? Yeah. Not a good start to the semester.
After I got to know my professors, sober, they encouraged and even helped PUBLISH my writing. They pointed me to the best grad schools, and wrote excellent recommendations on my behalf. They passed down their favorite books, and gave me snacks during finals. For me, that was the best “college experience” I ever had.
My professors genuinely believed in me, which was something I’d never experienced before. Granted, I wasn’t doing much for someone to believe in! You get my point. The professors you have are there to help you. You might as well take advantage of what you’re paying for!
I think college students are pushed way more of the “go party” narrative, versus the “take care of yourself” narrative.
In short...
I don’t encourage everyone to be sober in college. But if you are spending days in bed after drinking because of anxiety, and if you can’t stop after one, then it’s definitely worth a try. I hope you can resonate with some of my experience! I think college students are pushed way more of the “go party” narrative, versus the “take care of yourself” narrative. My hope in sharing my story is always that there will be one more “take care of yourself” narrative out there, because that’s exactly what we should be doing.
Your twenties aren’t a free period to throw your life away and then hope to rebuild it later. Accomplishing goals is fucking cool, and you can do that at any age, okay? Okay!
xo,
Nicole
@nicole.nettell